Monday, January 26, 2009

questions .. again

i've been frequenting all the things which i have been missing for the last 23 years of my life .. getting out of your comfort zone. venturing into the unknown. friends to the unfamiliar ones. binge on foreign thoughts of risking life to the uncertain.

when you are raised in a suburban area, where the neighbours i.e. the elderlies, talk and the children gossip, an insecure conformist i.e. yours truly, would just shy way from acting on any, ANY single thing that may be construde as misdemeaning or just plain stupid. no doubt u'll get judged. no doubt that these bias stands of jury will pass remarks and thoughts on you, and no doubt that you will be less to their liking, but again .. why and what are we so afraid of?

reputation into the bin? less votes for those who is running for president? zero attendance to your 19th birthday? silent congratulatories to your curricular achievements? ...

what are we so afraid of?

people talk, we can never change that. everyone judges, no denying to that. and we only live one life, as you readers too.

despite of all the fuck-ups and questions that occur in our everyday life which is constantly on the waiting list, how long does it take for us to receive the prescribed drug? prescribed i.e. the one and only solution to ease the queaziness from enquiring. and drug i.e. dependable / trusted.

my question again (too many questions) .. is it safe to wait for one? or should we start concocting our own pain killers and believe our our instinct. instinct to live. and to recap again as mentioned earlier, to act the on the unfamiliar foreign to our juries and just be true to yourself.

hoho. i may sound like deepak chopra in this entry, but it is true people, we can never mute people from expressing their views. we can never always answer all the questions. and no doubt, we can never always please those around us.

my word of advise .. live and trust your bestfriend. i.e. yourself.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

liar

i often think that when one who uses his head does little to the heart. vice versa.

i have been partaking both. at different time.

i did something awful today. at work.

i lied. cause i didn't want anyone to get hurt. but little did we know, we all are.

i used my heart to defend others. but instead i got a skidmark on my head.

my question is, why do we even use our heart in doing something which requires our cognitive skills and much professionalism which is controlled up in our head? ..

i'm sorry boss.

i truly am.


A.