finally

Finally, i graduated from Uni, with a Bachelor of Communications title to my name and finally, i get to access the Internet from the comfort of my uncle's hair studio in the urban suburb of Erskinville.

I am gonna keep this entry short, as i'm on a "sponsored" holiday in a foreign land. Too many places to go, too many clubs to hit, too little days to run on the beaches, so little time to grow a mohawk, too many expensive and not-worth-for-money t-shirts to splurge on my EFTPOS and of course, there's too many hours and days, and very little space to capture the moments on my trusted Sony. All in all, i'm ok.

Will be updating more once this surreal figure of yours truly go all humane again. Heaps of photos to be updated and heaps of thoughts to be published.

...

Further congratulations to my fellow colleagues upon graduating. No more Canberra, my friends. No more.

I thank you for those who had been sending me SMSes and calls on my Bachelors' completion, sorry peeps for not replying ur texts and calls, i'm running low on mobile credit. So long to Vodaphone and hello Maxis. Anyways, I thank you. Truly.

one for the road

hafidz is leaving 4 hours from now

siva, wendy and jen, are next in line

am living for sydney next week and a month after that, for malaysia

eizaq, david, soffi and lauren are leaving a week before i do to home sweet home

i guess the same applies to teresa with the latter four

not too sure when phil is leaving tho'

firdaus is celebrating his new year here

*sigh*

here goes to us. cheers.

top of my A-list

"I shall not regret for the things i've done, but i shall for the things that i haven't"- Lucas

There's no need for one to cry over spilt milk (milk again?!), but it's up to one to get that damn mop and start cleaning. Funny i should say from that one particular one-liner, Empire Records, a movie 'bout bunch of typical American teenagers working in a record store in the the mid 90's, has made me a fan eversince. I caught the film after a cousin of mine borrowed the motion soundtrack CD from a friend and played it in my room. Gin Blossom's 'Til I Hear It From You, was a pleaser to my liking and was different to my constant then-hearing tracks of Brit invasion acts; Take That, Oasis, Blur and yes yes~ Spice Girls. :P

The movie

Seven friends and Berko, a manager, one vain pop singer with his sweet, innocent then-manager, Eddie the pizza guy, great one-liners and superb musics with mediocre storyline what made the movie great. Did i just mention mediocre story line? Yerp i did. It was predictable and a norm for today's recipe of every teen movie, but back then, it was just superb. Screw to all the new teen flicks with Hillary Duff and co. Bunch of wannabes.

Let me try to summarize in my own words. Heck, this is my blog space, i'll write anything i want. Ok. Try to keep up with my ever-so fragmented English sentences.

The scenes are not in order ya: Guy lost all the company's money from one gamble at Atlantic City after finding out the proposal of selling Empire Records, a guy loves a girl, girl with straight A's wanted to lose her virginity to her idolized heart-throbing singer, bald girl attempted suicide with a pink razor, guy wanted to name his band to Marc instead of Mark, a young school kid attempted to steal few CDs (even a Whitney CD) and got caught, another girl had sex with her friend's idolized heart-throbbing singer on the Xerox machine, the boss plays the drum suprisingly good, the heart-throbbing singer's manager resigned from her post, bald girl and guy dirty-danced to the heart-throbbing singer's Say No More in between of CD aisles, the girl who had sex on the Xerox machine fought with the girl with straight A's who ran as the heart-throbbing singer flashed his bits to her prior of her attempt to lose her virginity, guy girl made out on the roof, the whole gang tried to save Empire Records from turning to another commercialized record store by holding a street party, everyone had fun, Empire Records was saved from conforming to the ever-growing franchising business, the whole gang partied on the roof at the end and voila, credits rolling and me, wanting more.

It's just brilliant yeah? In this movie, my favourites are Corey (Liv Tyler), Debra (Robin Tunney), AJ (Johnny Whitworth), Lucas (Rory Chocrane), Mark (Ethan Embry), Gina (Renee Zellweger), Joe (Anthony LaPaglia), Berko (Coyote Shivers) and Warren (Brendan Sexton III). To sum things up, the whole gang of the Empire Records. Ouh and Eddie the pizza guy (James 'Kimo' Wills). Who could've forgotten of the secret recipe of his garlic bread that drives Mark crave for more?! It's straightly more SUGAR! Haha. This entry may not make any sense to those who haven't watched Empire Records. When the first time i caught this movie on the screen, i was hooked, until now. I was only eleven, wanting to watch movies that weren't too intellectual for my thinking at that age, and thus, i went and rented the LD cause i liked the soundtracks and it's a teen flick. An hour and half after watching, i pressed the play button again. U see, during that time, there weren't too many good movies catered to teenagers. Okay fine, Mighty Ducks were good that time, but it had too much of Disney touch for me.I won't consider Dangerous Minds was a teen flick although the stories revolved around a bunch of teenagers but ended up liking it too. Plus, the storyline runs from the generic proposition of teenflick movies during that time. It was different and real.

The movie cores out the importance of being responsible to one's act (this goes to Lucas), not being selfish to urself and being considerate to other's feelings. Another reason that i like the movie, it's not fake. The director was sensitive to then-trends and youngsters' agenda; Corey and her addiction to pills inorder for her to get straight As, Debra's bold attempt by being a skinhead, Gina's "high school" kinky-ness, Mark and his bands, the decreasing "coolness" of pop music (damn i hate that 'Rex Say No More' Manning) and the rise of alternative music! This movie, is one of the earlier movies before Renee Zellwegger and Liv Tyler hit Hollywood's A-List acts. Whenever i catch a show with any members of the gang, they made me realize how people do grow up. How people start from humble beginnings to pampered life of a Paris Hilton. I was laughing when i was watching Tyler pulling an Arwen in Lord of The Rings, as i still see her as Corey, the virginal straight A's student who were crucially dependent on pills. When she was kissing Aragon (was it Aragon), i thought she was cheating AJ for that moment. But hey, people change, and they are actors. I get wayyy too deep when it comes to films, especially my favourite ones. Great films do affect suckers, right? I'm a victim. Happily being one. One to Empire Records. Anyways, here are some of the scenes that i consider as, simply memorable.

• Debra shaving her head
• Lucas chasing Warren, the adolescent thief
• Warren, mocking the cops and Joe
• AJ, trying to confess to Corey
• Corey and Gina, fighting
• Corey, stripping infront of Rex Manning
• Mark. All of 'em
• Lucas and Joe, the "where's the money Lucas?"
• Gina wearing nothing but a bright orange apron
• Debra consoling Corey, while she was peeing
• Debra's funeral
• Gina, mimicking to "I Want Money"
• Rex Manning, answering to the reason why he does pop music: There's a large percentage of male fanbase. Mark and AJ's responses: LOL
• Joe going for the drums
• The street party
• The gang partying on the roof
• AJ and Debra dirty dancing in between of the CD aisles
• Debra's spunky-ness
• Berko and Gina's duet
• Corey taking her bra off in the public
• The music
• Seriously, the music
• The beginning, the midde, the end

Just watch the movie will ya. U'll get the picture.

kudos to these movies

Almost Famous

Sin City

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Minds

Fight Club

Reality Bites

200 Cigarettes

Empire Records

i say

will u keep a pine of milk in the darkest corner of the fridge, or u rather take the risk by spilling the milk onto the floor instead?

why don't i just pour it into a clear crystal glass, straight?

weak hands,

am doubting to pour,

one drop too many?

things may have its own turn, maybe.

should i emancipate my thoughts?

should i take the risk?

i don't know,

i may end up spoiling what we currently have,

a sweet, harmonious and melancholic relationship,

am doubting the risk in taking the big step,

no points of questioning,

nothing is ever certain,

things may have its own turn.

moto krzr k1m

Do i want it?

Hell yeah.

What's the function like?

Style outshines and defy technology.

One word to describe the item above.

Gottahavedisshitloveitlikeitwantit.

exams & sydney

I have 2 more exam papers to sit and 2 more weeks to live on campus. If everything goes well and hopefully all goes well, then i'm off for good. Back to Malaysia, back to my normal 20 sticks per day of Marlboro and back to where i left things off. Last Friday's exam paper was a tough cookie. Brand Building. I answered two essays instead of three. There goes to my 4 nights effort of reading plus comprehending Keller and Buddle's notes. Particular and most-paid-attention-to chapters were absent from the 5 page exam paper. I memorised the Power Grid, the long Brand Value Chain, the CBBE Pyramid, 7 deadly sins of Brand Management and more but yeah~ they were bunch of no show-ers. I did manage to answer two essays tho'. One is on brand positioning, which i depicted Benetton's positioning in the q, where i blatantly assumed on the 4 steps of positioning, and the other one is on brand extension, where Disney, Milo and Pantene were some examples i pointed out. Dua per tiga. Dissapointed but heck, let bygones be bygones yea.

Let me stress out on my two upcoming papers mmmkay. No conscience space of mine is vacant to worry on the past. The last paper is on the 15th. *Joy*. Results will be out on the 24th. *Dang!*. There goes my stay in Sydney. Anxious and uncertain thoughts will try to sweat my palms and deter my sanity. *Drama drama drama*. Hopefully all goes well. Insyaallah.

...

Wishing all the best to those who are having their share of exams this month

stonefest '06

A picture speaks a thousand words.
There are 9 all together.
Go figure.

eidl'fitri

Baju Melayu blues . Shout out to Hafidz for snapping this shot.

Eidl'fitri finally arrived in Canberra. The same goes to NSW, Victoria , Queensland and Tasmania. Malaysians get to celebrate a day after, and the same goes to the muslims populating in West Australia.

I only slept for an hour before heading to the mosque for the morning eidl'fitri prayer, prior to baking chocolate cookies, kueh makmur, chilling out with friends and watching Siva cutting the chicken thighs and fillets for next day's feast. Teresa and Wendy were helpful enough to give us guys slash sleepy heads, each a wake up call, contacting the local cab operator for us , and helping us guys look presentable for the long first day of eidl'fitri. :)

The prayer went well. Hundreds of people came. People from all walks of life came to gather in accepting God's calling on the first day of eid mubarak. Joy~

Me, Hafidz, Fir and Eizaq went to the civic after the prayers. Had some choc milkshakes at Gus, smoked few PJ's, and i just realized "hey! ramadhan has ended! and i can eat, drink, smoke, pick boogers off my nose without being judged and etc at the same time as the sun shines". Victory... i guess~ eidlfitri in Canberra is different, no doubt, but it didn't really strike me as hard i thought it would be. I thought i'd be weeping over the absence of my family and co., but i handled it well.

Went to the Malaysian ambassador's official stay after civic. Had few rendangs, lambs and the usuals. It was alright. Dato' and Datin was friendly and humble to guests. Good PR! Good image for the Malaysian goverment. There'll be a call from Pak Lah anytime soon Dato'. A whole lotta people came. Dang~ i didn't know that there were as many Malaysians residing in Canberra. To sum things up at the open house; the food was good, the turnout was big (we Malaysians just love free things... free food!), the ambience was classy, Eizaq was funny, and the flies were fcuking annoying. All in all i had fun.

Went back home, slept for few hours, woke up, and went to Firdaus' for another open house organized by a close bunch of us in UC. Kueh makmur and choc cookies were present, the rendang, chicken satay, nasi impit and kuah kacang (courtesy of Siva aka Popes) were there as well to cater the first day of eidlfitri. Numerous photos were taken, did record few videos (sent to Youtube for mass viewing), and yerp, the usual us, laughing, keng kai-ing and such. The routine that never runs dry in our daily lives in Canberra.

...

Shout outs to the people who made my eidlfitri in Canberra a memorable one.

*Big smile*

eidl'fitri

Last year's 1st day of Eidl'fitri with family at the residence in PJ

Eidlfitri is celebrated on Monday the 23rd in Canberra. The same goes to the whole of Victoria and NSW. Malaysians get to celebrate a day after.

Selamat Hari Raya to all. Would like to apologize for all of my wrongdoings, had i offend u in any ways. Have a good one this year.

Love ur family kids.


PS: Regarding the pic, yes yes, i was all fat and chubby. :P

mama

Inseparable: Mama (left) & her twin sister ,my Aunty cum Mama Dawn

U beared me for 9 months, attached,

Carrying whilst pursuing life with a burden onto u,

U were counting days to a particular month in '85 to surrender,

A sweet haven surrender that is.

The day came, the anxious air that filled the hall was serened by prayers,

Uncertain faces and self confidence collides at its best,

Prayers were uttered, by the lips of ur loved ones,

Anticipating God to aid u,

Expectations began to rise,

An anxious man, ur husband awaits in the lobby, fidgetting for answers,

He hands it up to God, with prayers recited from his heart still.

The sun was shinning outside, showering buildings, pedestrians and such with ray of hope,

Hope was what u needed,

And hope was given upon u.

U battled for hours with the trusted unfamiliars,

Blood that was essential for u, splattered the floor red,

U screamed from pain, an excruciating one,

All in the name of love and sacrifice,

U sacrificed all those for a person,

Ur love for you 3rd born, moi.

Ur hard panting was the first music that filled my ears,

U reached for my weak yet restless body,

Not wanting me to panic,

U pant heartlessly while holding me close to u,

U held me, wanting to hug me, but i was too fragile for those,

My forehead tickled when ur dry lips touched onto it,

U might have shred a tear or two,

But u were too tired to bother,

And so, u just looked at me, with my umbilical cords still attached to my navel, with love and unspoken joy.

. . .

On the 19th of April '85, she sacrificed her life for me. She didn't ask anything from me following from that very event. Instead, she showered me with more love, alongside of care and trust. I am a rebel and she notes that. I am an emotional and sensitive fool and she notes that too. Her cookings calm my tummy, and her undivided love and attention, calm my sanity. She's an optimistic, scolding me for thinking of the otherwise. Her unbiased love to her children, her infectious laughs, her jokes, her undying faith in God and commitment to her family, distinguishes her from others. She is my best supporter. She supported me when i was representing school in sports, in both primary and high. She supported me in pursuing a career in Advertising, regardless of what other conservative thinking elderliness thought Advertising, as a "cheap, no future and unworthy" course. Off she shrugs those fools. Cause she trusts me. Trusting me, unfailingly. My friends love her. They love her antics. Once (or countless times) i was told me that i have the coolest, cutest and funniest mum. Compliment goes to u madam.

Whenever i raised my voice to her, by looking at her facial expression with dissapointment, would just frail me to pieces, yet my heart frails furthermore for shredding the heart of hers. I too would be dissapointed of myself. She would wake up 3 am in the morning to entertain my spoilt need for a mug of Milo. Before i reached the age of puberty, she would lullaby a Thai folk song called "Lai lai Kratong", when the silence of my room weren't able to drift me off to La La Land. She would fetch me from school when i was sick at 10 am, knowing that she just reached her workplace. My sister told me that she couldn't sleep peacefully at night for the first three months when i first arrived in OZ. The thought mutes and pauses my ego. And she does all that, and going through all those, for one difficult and spoilt son of hers. Just like an angel, patiently serving her halo-less child.

And so, i dedicate this entry to my much adored mother, Mrs Zahrah Salleh, who never fails to turndown my request (especially when it comes to food), and for always believing in me. She taught me to never give up in urself and always have faith in the Almighty Allah, cause God helps those who has faith in Him.

And so mama, this eidl'fitri is gonna be different, no doubt. U may have had ur share of me on my moody days, yet u love me still. I would like to apologize for my countless wrongdoings, for having to crash ur Honda, for having u and baba called to the school office, for coming back late at night and of course, for rebelling ur needs and words. Am not any lesser of any two evils, and u note that. But u stand tough next to me still. U leave me speechless, cause no words can ever describe u.

. . .

Selamat hari raya mama. Adik sayang mama.

Tipintit pintit*

*My mum's favourite and most used word, invented by her, of course.

who's hot

Canberra is. Invisible hot steam is exiting of my ears. The season is heating up. So much for the so called spring. Summer's approaching, and the sun will once smile, smirking down to the people who were pampered with the previous easy breezy spring.

Then there's the wind. Blowing pedestrians away heartlessly. Nicole Richie won't even have to walk. To girls, do wear skirts. Short ones of course. And to the guys, follow them when they walk. :) Sunglasses is crucial these days. The same goes to moisturiser. Fag.

Didn't dare to leave the house without those. The glaring and scorching sun pierces through the skin down to the bones, and the hostile wind enjoying, swepping off weightless sands and dirts of the earth and lands on faces of mother nature's frail and clueless us - simply irritating.

a two min quickie

What's a brand? What's in for a brand? Why are there misperceptions toward brands? .. May the reason be culture? Previous experiences with the brand? U were born or indirectly forced to love the brand, cause ur mama and aunty use them since the day u r visible to the light of day? Does color of the logo helps? .. Maybe , heck i opt for Vodaphone cause the corporate logo's Red. Optus is cheaper. Silly me, for an adertising student to fall for that, but three cheers for Vodaphone anyways. iPod may have tens of flaws compared to the better in-features, Creative Zen. iPod seems to conquer the portable media player market share. I'd go for a Nano rather than a Zen despite of Nano's bad points. Am i conforming?.. Maybe.

This entry doesn't make any sense. * Sigh. Off i go on my Brand Building report.

flu

I'm sick. Literally. Caught few bacterias roaming the air. Been sick for two days. Haven't been fasting for two days. *Sigh. Both nostrils r full of .. let's not be descriptive shall we, but you get the picture. I had to sleep with my mouth open. how did i realize that? ... A map of Japan, drawn onto the pillow is a clear proof. Fcukerama! Now i need to do my laundry. On the second thought, naah. I'm a guy. We are engineered to live in Joe's Apartment.

Gotta take few pills that i bought from last semester of the Uni Pharmacy. They make me go sleepy tho'. Paracetamol, Pseudoepherine Hydrochloride and Chlorpheniramine. Names seem to complicate to my daily vocabs. The pressure is up to the unfamiliar to save the day. All in good hopes.

Off to class in half an hour. 'Til then, let me just sit back, unwind to Incubus and wipe my nose off, peacefully.

Have a nice day.

dedicated to Archie's avid readers. what say you?

I don't read Archie's. My childhood was filled with Doraemons, Dragon Ballz and selipar tiga (the game is similar to DodgeBall which is to kill as many members of the opponent's team, but instead of using a ball, thongs or flip flops are used instead. The motive of the game; u and ur team members have to construct a "house" with three selipars, while your enemies at the same time would try to nail their selipars onto your body or face. Yowzer! The game ends once the house is built which signify a team's accomplishment and another's failure). Fun! Told ya i was, and still am the kampung boy of Petaling Jaya.

Firdaus and Teresa came out with this. Those Archie fanatics.

Characteristics' similaritiness between the man-drawn animation and us, the living homosapiens, are placed next to one other. Friends & I and Archie's friends. Am not a reader of Archie's, so go figure.

...

Teresa . Veronica Lodge

Siva . Pop Tates

Wendy . Mr Lodge

Firdaus . Reggie Mantle

Lauren . Midge

Eizaq . Jughead Jones

Philip . Hotdog

Hafidz . Chuck Clayton

... & yours truly, me, as the blonde Betty Cooper

...

week 12

Things that happened this week ...

• Wendy and Teresa battling out their Hokkien. Penang vs Klang Valley. Whose is better? I don't know. Kui Mui.. Kui Me... Hu.. He..
• Submitted my TV ads cum resume, alongside with others into Graeme's tutor box. Prior to that day, me and others had a very long night. Full of teamwork and laughters. Sungguh bagus dan kelakar. I will never forget ur Bend & Snap, Firdaus! Haha. My gratitudes to those who helped me that night (and day).
• Received an invitation to the Malaysian High Comm this Saturday. Free food babeyh! My curiosity on how the inside of the High Comm looks like, is 6 days apart of being answered.
• Went to Taj Agra, an Indian diner, with couple of friends to break fast. Good meal, good company yet, it was a shame that the food wasn't spicy, although we ordered "extra spicy". I am after all the jakun Malay kid from Petaling Jaya who loves his mum's prawn sambal belacan. Laughters, cam whoring sessions, cigarettes, satiated faces and tummies and mango lassis were present to cater our evening. All in all, the evening was perfect.
• The misinterpreted Recovery Day took place with more alcohols and party goers puking on campus. This only apply to the kwai-los. Didn't go cause it's Ramadhan. Gooood boy.
• Good friends of mine, Nad and E'en r aunts to new born Mohd Faris Eizal. A libra-ian or a Librarian?.. i don't know. I have very limited english vocabs. Anyway, congrats to the granpa, Papa and granmas, Mummy, and Aunty Elly, and, Nad and E'en .. aunty already ar u guys, no more goofing around for both of u, and of course further congratulations to the proud parents, Kak Ija and husband. Alhamdulillah, everything went well and i can't wait to meet the latest addition to the ever amusing Zainuddin's clan. Ouhya, now there's a boy in the family! Finally! :P
• Mama sent me an SMS. She misses me. (to readers, count 1 to 5 before u proceed to the next sentence). Sigh. My family went to her twin sister's house, Aunty Dawn aka Mama Dawn, my favorite aunt in the whole wide world who never fails to manja me .. (tak sedar diri sungguh anak Khalid ni) .. to break fast. She makes the best sardine rolls.. with extra red peppers of course. Kampung me. I can eat tonnes of 'em. Errrr.. metaphorically of course.
• Kak Sue sent me an SMS. She went to One Utama or O.U. for short, and bazaar ramadhan this week. She misses me. (Manja.. manja.. Isk isk isk). Hey! Don't judge me alright, i love 'em k! .. And vice versa.
• Counting days to Eidl'Fitri. Same ol' same ol'.

Oi.. why lah i can't upload pics to this entry. Dang.

Joni Mitchell, you got me

to be exact, eidl'fitri or hari raya is 21 days mere away from today. no lemangs, no ketupats, no ayam masak merah and worst of all, no ang paus from uncles and aunties who still think that u r their 8 year old nephew. the fact is, i am 21 and i do know how to cross the road by myself. look left, right, left again.. then go nuts. haha.

i regard hari raya as a celebration. people forgiving one another. joy written on their face and children dressing up, with "i want ang pau" written instead. my brother crying over my mum's shoulder, my sister being the Manager of Khalid's Kitchen Department, making everything goes smooth, making sure that the right kuehs get filled up in the right jars and yours truly, me, getting lectured for not filling up the drinks for the guests (yeah yeah whatever man).

every raya, me and my brother would be alarmed by dad to attend the annual morning raya prayers at the mosque. my sister would wake up around 8-ish and oftenly gets the "Busta Rhyme" from mum. Sometimes, it's just the mild " Jay Z"... and u don't want a "Mystikal" from my much adored mother. Haha. Once we reach backhome, dad and mum would start apologizing to one another or what me and my sister would call it the Cerekarama session (it is similar to when Oprah stars in a Hallmark movie).

and then.. it's our turn to co-star the show. my brother would obviously starts first, as he is the eldest, their first born (yeah yeah whatever man). my sister seconds the line. she would be having a piece or two of Kleenex in her tailor made baju kurung's pocket, and last but not least in the line, moi. i would be kissing their cheeks, holding their hands with my forehead touches slightly onto their hands, bending on both knees, whilst asking for forgiveness from them. it's a classic, mum and dad would tell me this, and would never try to change their scripts/ dialogues when it comes to me over the years.

"Ini nakal ni. Promise me that u'll be good ok. Promise, alright?", mama

"Jangan nakal nakal sangat. Don't go out at night too often. Promise me, alright?", baba

of course i'd be giggling. i would laugh beforehand, and i would pull my infamous Puss-In-Boots expression. do take notice i am their manja child. the infamous kerengga or red ant who bites anything visibile to his sight when he was 5. another unwritten line in my script that never changes on the first day of hari raya. score! Baba would then hand me a packet of ang pau from his pocket. 100 bucks, every year. double score! well done father, well done.

ouhya, and then my siblings would then start hugging, kissing one another asking for the same thing that distinguishes hari raya from other celebrations; forgiveness. an easy task but hard to act upon. we would end up giggling at the end. haha.

then comes the feasting. i'd be eating like there's no tomorrow. glutton me. don't judge me alright, i have to fill up drinks for the guests and victimised in answering the usuals which is part of their raya script, "where are you studying now?.. where's your girlfriend?.. why did you take advertising? ... i thought u took pure science in high school?" ... bla bla bla ya ya ya ra ra ... u get the picture. and the best thing, i just met these people a week ago at a breaking fast gathering at a relative's. quite synonymus on hari raya, mum and dad would be entertaining the guests, while looking at me shamelessly, having a go on my ketupats and rendang. my relatives on the other hand, would be catching Siti Nurhaliza and co. on the TV.

and so yeah, hari raya is all about the good things. all about the familiar routines. funny how i mentioned good things. i forgive you, you forgive me, look at my Guess watch made of Steel, look at my Tag Heuer, look at my thai silk baju melayu and such. fully etiquette euphimistic words and decorum gestures would fill up the hall amongst host/hostess and guests, the kitchen would contain gossips and kids running around with their ever so annoying yet endearing antics.

...

this year is gonna be different, no doubt. i never realized how hari raya does hit me hard. am gonna miss the routine. surely gonna miss the tradition and the usual scripts. am gonna miss my family. i guess, just like what Joni Mitchell used to penned and sang, you don't know what you've got until it's gone.

*Sigh.

the catch

i am fcuked. in one month's time from now, i'd be sitting in the exam hall. Respectively, on the 1st, 3rd, 7th and 15th of November.

and then there's Stone Fest, a week prior to examination dates. almost everyone is getting restless from waiting. it's clear to note that topics regarding Stone Fest or Stone Week would arise in nearly, every conversation.

so ladies and gents, the battle between Biggest Party in Canberra vs Books, Notes, Coffee, Eye Bags is on. the good vs the bad. angels & demons.

what a classic, who am i gonna pick? both maybe? how 'bout a tie? it's only fair right?
sigh.

i'll go figure.

it's good

somewhere near birkenhead, sydney

tomorrow's friday the 29th. doesn't signify a thing actually. not to my knowldge. am just counting days to eidl'fitri. call me an impatient freak, but i'm still counting anyways and anyhow.
had pasta for buka puasa today. reserved some pasta for sahur in the fridge. my life is pretty good i assume. good company, good food, hair growing faster than i thought, good yet unpredictable weather and warm lipton tea followed by sticks of Peter J's. i have 3 more assignments due 'til exam blues hit. wait, haven't i already mention that in my previous entry?

.. so what, call it for the sake of me impatiently wanting to end this gig.

...

caught my uncle on the mobile 5 minutes ago, he is coming down to canberra next month, he sounds happy .. his life's good.

vodafoned syak in perth a minute ago, she's suprising her mum with a dinner for two tonight .. it's her mum's birthday today, syak sounds happy .. her life's good.

i'm sitting in my stoic room with Howie Day's rendition of Collide .. my life's good. for now.

PS: sentences may not compliment each other in this entry, but i just had to blog for the sake of channeling my need to blog. (huh?)

...

have a good one guys.

ramadhan

it's ramadhan. i do fast religiously. i don't practice all the 5 prayers everyday and did skip few friday prayers and did few other stuffs that discern the teachings of islam. let's just not go there. however in ramadhan, im paying my dues by fasting. my uncle told me that fasting is all about "encountering the devil in you and finding ur inner peace". sounds like a quote from mahatma gandhi, but i second that in a way.

the experience of fasting in canberra is so different compared to backhome (duuhhh!). there r no bazaars, no family members and no JAIS. ouh.. and the tarawikh prayers, the continuation of prayers after isya'. yerp.. sad to say that i won't be able to be home for eidl'fitri. but hey, i've friends around. 27 year old firdaus reminds me heaps of my 28 year old brother, zul aka yop. both are Red Devil fans, both are easy to get along with and both of them have a certain air of "jangan kacau adik aku" kinda shit. and angeline and wendy remind me of my sister sue. three of them have chinese looks and three of them are good cooks and excellent listeners and advisors.

i wonder how my raya is gonna be here in canberra. not until 26 more days, i will tell u for sure.

hani adnan. i'm perplexed.

This is a re-entry from my previous blog site in Friendster.

Posted on 5th March '06.

. . .

It was a fine day in Down Under, i was lazing myself to get off bed but i did. Few chores needed to be done. Rushed to Woolworth's for cigarettes. It was a long walk, but it was worth it. I inhaled every puffs like each stick is the last stick from the pack and killing myself subliminally, and slowly.. unnoticed.

I was on my way to a friend's place for dinner. Smoking and piercing the cool autumn breeze with my walking. Face was numb of the coldness of the air. No signs of dampness was present. My skin was dry as usual.

And so i arrived at Wendy's. Slouching myself on a chair. In the kitchen. Then it came, an SMS from my sister. A close friend of ours was admitted to the University Hospital backhome. He was involved in an accident. Severed he was. Blood painted the tar road red. He was soaked in in his own blood. Blood that was essential for a being. For both humans and animals. My sister was on her way to visit him. A friend sent a similar SMS seconds later.

3 minutes later ..

My sister called. Sobbing. "Aref, Hani passed away".. I was stoned out of perplexity. I was in the kitchen. My friends were cooking. And there i was. Perplexed. Friends were stirring the spaghetti sauce in the pot. I was still standing. Perplexed. I went out from the house.

And suddenly,i cried. I sobbed. There i was, standing in a foreign land, with my friends backhome. With a lifeless friend back home. I needed to call someone. Anyone. But my Vodafone IDD Minute Call ran out. So i called Syak who is in Perth. I interrupted her from her studies. I cried, i sobbed shamelessly. A man who cries. A man whose tears are away from the reason he cried upon.

Moments later, SMSes from backhome flooded my mobile.

"Aref, Hani dah takde.." by Ann
"Aref dear, am at the hospital, Hani just passed away.." by Eleen
" It's ok mok.. Don't feel bad bout it. Sue ckp relax.. Everything dah settle. Sedekah al fatihah ok. Esok kebumi. Will let u know everything, take care too.." by Eleen
"I know. It's a cliche for me to say this. But god loves him more. U take care over there k..." by Tita
"Just be strong.. Don't emo emo k aref.. Sedekah al fatihah kat die. He'll be very grateful.." by Ann

A good friend of mine backhome called minutes after. Tita. There i was. Faulting God. Questioning God. Hani was a good friend. A person that's worth be known by others. An honest and genuine man. He doesnt deserve this. But there he was, lying infront of the people that loves him. At the end of the conversation, Tita told me, "God loves him more" .. and it made sense. I was perplexed by the sentence. A paradox. We love him, we want him around and God took him away from us. With my faith in the Almighty Allah, i believe he is safe with Him.
I was still standing. Smoking my Marlboros straight at the back of my friend's house. With the autumn breeze still piercing through my face, my body and my resentment.

I couldn't believe he left us. He was there at the airport. My last goodbyes to everyone. I hugged him as how i hugged everyone. He was the loudest to holler my name as i entered the place where i presented my passport. He was there. I wouldn't have thought that was his last goodbye. Our last contact. The last hug. The last time we got to celebrate anything. He was there at my suprise farewell party. Making toasts. The last time we smoked and laughed about things in life. He was there. Being nice and jovial as he was. Giggling to everyone's jokes. My jokes.

There he was. Hani Adnan. A 20 year old jovial and genuine man. A man who loved hip hop music. A man who treats his friends equally and lovingly. Loves his brother Mus and sister in-law Oya to death. Death. I object the term death. I am more keen with "celebration of life". A beautiful life. His body now is being layed and buried nearing to another prominent figure in my life; my grandma's.

. . .

Let us treasure our friends people. We don't know what we got until its gone. Remember the faces that play prominent roles in or life. We don't know when they'll be going. Maybe tomorrow, maybe next month, maybe when you are studying abroad. Maybe..
Here i am, listening to Incubus's 11AM, still typing, peeking at the Farewell card and its messages thumb-tacked to the pinboard every minute. With his photo in the card. As well as mine. And still perplexed.

I HEART U BRO.

AL FATIHAH.

question.

Andalucia 2005

i was checking out my sister's Myspace and instantly, laughter filled my once stoic and boring room. reasong being, a video of me making fool of yours truly at andalucia a year ago. funny. my entertainment of the week.

was listening to Rachael Yamagata, when it hits me ...

how well are we in preserving the past? does our ambition to fulfill of our future living deters the past, the past that builds us what we are in the present? .. does it? i don't know. am not too caught up with the issue ..

what say you?

u got academic'd!

it was one hell of a long, agonizing academic report. analyzing Naga DDB's organisational sturucture was easy, provided with my two cents of "bullshitness". but, the requirement to reference ... that was the long and agonizing part. quoting from people who i think are either dead or childlishly chasing imaginary bugs in retirement homes. who am i to change the system? no one, that's the point. frankly, i have never written a report that requires heaps of referencing. and plus, i have never put so much thoughts and effort for an elective. i am an advertising student not HR! we design campaigns not assign who's who in the office.

but in a way, i have learnt few stuffs, that i thought was too intellectual for my thinking. funny names with funny theories. all in all, i'm done. having to see the soft copy of the report in print was satisfying plus, the feeling when submitting the report into the tutor's box, was just .. priceless.

had my chicken avocado sandwich and hot choc for breakfast earlier with Maliq & D'essentials in the backgroud, and life was good again.

... i have 6 more assignments to go. the saga continues, one hour from now.

slack & more slacking

i slack. a big time slacker. a boy where procrastination is synonym to his vocab. i have 7 assignments due after this two weeks break ends. i have reports, presentations and work that's regard to video production. i'm dwelling in my room, sitting before my laptop, and figuring, when am i going to learn the consequences of procrastionation.

it thrills, yet it kills. procrastination kills time. procrastinating time loses one's efficiency and trust. so why am i procrastinating? i have a report to submit 4 days from now. jason and justin should be partying in sydney by then while i'd be reading journals with a mug filled with hot Nescafe 43 next to me, in hope to start my essay and make use of time.

wish me luck.

minimal execution cores the message. an immense piece.

i was browsing through few ads from numerous international ad agencies' websites when i stumbled upon this print. i saw a similar one (a lady with her right hand Henna-ed instead) from Aitchison's Cutting Edge Advertising last semester.

Kudos to BBDO Singapore. Title above expresses my rationale. Need i say more? Godfrey would agree with me. Period.

khalid hassan: a father & a figure worth mentioning

when i crashed my mum's Honda when i was 16, my dad was dissapointed of me. whose parents wouldn't huh? i can still remember of that deep-menacing yet cool voice of his, when he uttered, "i am just dissapointed of you Aref", followed with a long pause that was enough for a drip of sweat to fall from the temple of mine, was; " i am". After he took a look at me, at my classic don't-kill-me-dad expression, he told me; there's always THE first for everything, he suddenly realized that after all, i Aref Khalid, was the rebellious yet manja child of his. 13 years ago, i was the child that he sang lullabies to and 13 years forward, i am that same child that corrupts his financial saving status.

truth said. points taken.

i have always been fearing my dad for his cold and disciplinarian traits. he is like Simon Cowell with Chinese looks and fond for golf and cars. fast cars. he doesn't approve sympathy towards his children. sympathy makes him weak.

if he projects his weakness, me and siblings would be shopping at AX and LaBodega would be our daily lounging spot. u want the new Nokia N93? go and get one for urself. u want that job in McCann Erickson where his friend is a boss there? go and get urself a CV and an interview. that's my Baba. u see, my dad doesn't want us to think that gold grows on trees and every GM and CEOs' kids are entitled to live large with a Platinum Card in their Tod's wallets and Dior's purses. he wants us to strive. learn the hard way. no BMWs, no LRTs, merely brisk-walking under the hot sun. u get the expression.

truth said. points taken. am a living proof.

i would object to the term of readers who picture my dad as a stingy and cold person. he is not. he spends on his Callaway irons and a Toyota Wish for my mother. he feeds my loving Phoebe and Coco with Whiskas (alternate with Friskies and Science & Diet) unconditionally. he spent thousands on my sister's wedding. he financed me solely on my education. he raises his child and his family with much determination with little aid of materialistic entities. he doesn't believe that Gucci and Versace would put a smile on my mum, he doesn't believe that Tiffany's and Ralph Lauren would earn him respect and courteous gratitudes from his children.

WHAT he believes; that fetching us to and from school (and any destination) and fetching my much adored mother from her numerous business trips at KL Sentral at 4 am is much love and that goes for him vice versa. he wants to be there. the person that accompanies you along the destination. quiet, he maybe during journeys, but he bears in mind he has responsiblities, and he bears in heart "i want to be there for them..". he is a man with purpose. a man that is worth knowing and chatting to. ask him what his definition on life. u may be intrigued by the answer. or shall i say answers.

truth said. points taken. don't judge.

and so i dedicate this very first entry, to my father Mr Khalid Hassan, who has always been there for me, through thick and thin, and the person who never fails to amuse me with his sharp (pedas) yet wise one-liners. to a father who doesn't fancy hugging and kissing (this doesn't apply to my mother though) but did hug his children and shred a tear or two when i was leaving for Oz and sister getting solemnised.


to the hero in my life with much love and much anticipation to his phone calls,
to my one & only Baba.